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    Tuesday, October 30, 2007

    The Hardest "NO" Of All...

    I know it's going to be, and it's part of why we're still nursing.

    I am a "no" PRO. Don't you question it. Ask around. I have no problem denying my kids anything that is not in their best interests, anything that may pose a danger for them, anything that I know will do them more harm than good. I can "no" with the best of them. And mean it.

    But how do I begin to explain to a one-year old that the thing he loves most, the thing that has been partially responsible for his lack of sickness in his first year of life, the thing that comforts and calms him when nothing else will, the thing that he still consistently ASKS for several times a day, is soon going by the wayside? It's easy to tell him no to overabundances of candy, eating off the floor, playing in the toilet, hitting his sister, playing in traffic, pennies in outlets, sitting on the dog, and a million other things that I know aren't best for him. But this...I am at a loss.

    "No more mom drinks, Jackson, Mommy is tired of you sticking your hands down my shirt in the grocery store."

    "No more mom drinks, Jackson, everyone thinks it's weird now."

    "No more mom drinks, Jackson, I always said if a kid was big enough to ask for it, he's too big to have it. And didn't I just know everything back then?"

    "No more mom drinks, Jackson - I'm just DYING to get my period and gain a quick ten pounds."

    See what I mean? I am lacking a convincing argument. I want to quit because I want him to sleep thru the night for ME, and I've tried every other thing there is, and he still wakes up at night asking for, you guessed it, a drink at the bar. But that's not exactly about him, now, is it? And nursing is for him in the first place...

    I think Samantha must not have been as attached to the boob as her brother is, because I don't remember quitting being traumatic for either of us. But this boy is a boobie baby. I only offer at bedtime and in the AM, but he asks for it all day long. Any time he sits on my lap, if I'm in front of him at boob-level in the grocery store (as he sits in the cart), when I'm carrying him...he pulls at my collar, and says "Eh! Eh! Eh! Bbbb...bbbbb..." And it's not a thirst issue, because I've tried offering a sippy (which he drinks fine any other time) in place of the boob, and he looks at me like I'm completely stupid and throws the cup with one hand, while he sticks the other down my shirt again.

    Oy. I'm not sure when it's happening. I am tired of him not sleeping at night, and I wonder if the boob disappearing altogether wouldn't help with that. Because even though I don't give it, he still asks/whines/begs for it. Every time. Then again, that makes me wonder how long he'll keep asking for it. This child is persistent.

    But believe this (and I feel a short rant coming on) - if you're one of those people who thinks it's weird that I'm bfing my 14 month old, know that when we quit, it's NOT because of you. Notice that reason was listed as a "NOT" convincing argument. You people make me want to follow in my big sister's footsteps and BF him until he's three, just to piss you off. I'm pretty sure not one person who knows me can say I ever gave them ANY grief about how long, or how SHORT of a time they nursed their kids, so everyone could do the same for me...ok, rant over, thanks!

    So I'm sure when it happens you'll all know, because you'll hear the boy wailing from near and far, and I'll be trying to think of a good reason WHY he can't have what he loves most anymore. Can't hardly wait.


    herself75 said...

    weaning is ALWAYS harder on the Mama! try changing his bedtime routine. when the boob-bar is no longer a factor in the going-to-sleep scenario, it'll be easier for him to settle himself back to sleep. try having Dad put him to bed. sing..rock..cuddle but don't nurse. do not sit in the chair you'd normally nurse him in. don't lay down with him.

    Rebecca said...

    I like the suggestion above. But if that doesn't work and you're not opposed to it, how about putting something that would give him a bitter taste and not want it anymore (maybe a lemon?). Personally I never had problems weaning, but a friend of mine did with her year and a half old daughter and she rubbed some bitter tasting food on her nipples right before, and all it took was the one day and her daughter never asked for the boob again.

    Deb said...

    Awww... hugs, hon. I'm so proud of you for going this long!

    I don't know what's going on with my boy. We haven't nursed since he was 13 months old, but in the last couple weeks, he's been trying to get peeks inside my shirt and bra. When we snuggle, he turns his head. He hasn't done that in ages! Even before we weaned! These are some little booby boys we've got!!

    Kae said...

    Well I nursed Dakota until she was 18 months, so no judgement here. I quit then because her pediatrician said after 18 months an unhealthy bond develops. Explain that one to me.

    Anyway, just so you don't think weaning him will end the boob pulls, Dakota is almost 2 and STILL sticks her hand down my shirt. But she doesn't always stop there. She actaully grabs the nipple between her fingers and twists. I think she's trying to be funny when she does it becuase she laughs - but that's probably becuase we laugh. (so I guess she IS being funny).

    I will say this. Weaning was harder on me than it was on her. I think that's usually the case. Save these hugs for when you go thru it. {{HUGS}}