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    Saturday, May 31, 2008

    Grammar Lesson: Part Two (not Too or To)

    Ugh...back again, with more crap that drives me nuts when typed by grown-ups...

    They're = another contraction (just like you're = you are), short for "they are". Unless you can replace it in the sentence with "they are", DON'T USE IT!

    There = a place. That's it. If you're not describing a place, DON'T USE IT!

    Their = a possessive pronoun. Unless what comes after it is something that belongs to something/someone, DON'T USE IT!

    Ugh. These are not hard, people, none of them are advanced or complex thoughts to process. If you finished middle school with a passing grade in English, we should not be needing to have this conversation. Figure it out, or put away the keyboard. Seriously. Seriously seriously.

    Thursday, May 29, 2008

    Grammar Lesson

    Not even aimed at anyone in particular, just anyone guilty of these. Please, please, please. Please. It's so simple.

    Your = possessive adjective, and more specifically, the possessive form of the word you. "They want to pet YOUR dog." If you use "your", you have to be able to answer the question "your what?" with the next word.

    You're = a contraction of "you" and "are". That's it - it's short for "you are". It is only to be used in a sentence where you could replace it with "you are". What could be simpler?

    To = shows direction or directs a sentiment. "We are going TO town." OR "Happy birthday TO you." That's it.

    Too = shows excess, or replaces "also". "I added TOO much salt." OR "Can I have some, TOO?" As a way of remembering...if you want to show excess or replace "also", just use "too many" o's (as in 2, instead of 1). Get it?

    There are also the other forms, "yore" (as in "days of yore"), and "two", as in the number, but if you're misusing those, I don't know what to tell you. Stop writing until you retake English class.

    This is basic stuff, folks, and while everyone is guilty of the occasional misuse (it would only be as a typo in my case - my english teachers taught this unceasingly), we should all know the difference by now, shouldn't we? Really? Please? I'm begging you. Thanks.

    Whoda Thunk It?

    I was unaware that doing "Healing Yoga: For Aches and Pains" was going to GIVE me aches and pains. I am now aware. Painfully aware.

    Tuesday, May 27, 2008

    Big Girl Haircut

    This was a while ago now, but thought I'd share it anyway...Samantha had her first "real" haircut recently. She was oh so very proud and excited to go to Mommy's stylist, it's the stillest she's ever sat while awake.

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    Aww, such a pretty girl!
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    And to top off a great night, we came home to Mr Man already in bed, sleeping like an angel (thanks, Daddy!)...
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    So that was the big girl's big night out with Mommy. She's still talking about it.

    Friday, May 16, 2008

    Happy Friday!

    MUCH better day today. Feeling more like myself again. Samantha and I had a GNO last night, had haircuts and did some shopping, Daddy and Jackson had a BNO, and today is MUCH happier around here. I have TONS to do, a trip coming up, so I may be rather absent in the coming week or so, but things are good here at our house, the hormone surge seems to be over, and I have a gazillion things to do, so it's time to get doing them!

    I wish you all a happy, fun weekend! Stop back soon, I'll post pics of Samantha's haircut, some more spring stuff (hopefully), and more! Or, better yet, just subscribe if you haven't yet, and you'll get an email telling you that I've posted more stuff - and really, that's best for everyone, isn't it? AND, then you can pass it on and let someone else check me out. Cuz I KNOW you want to brag about my blog, right? Doesn't everyone?

    *This shameless, yet happy attempt to get you to pass on my blog is brought to you by Midol. Midol - give it to the woman you love during that special time, if you want her to love you. Or anyone. Or anything. Or if you'd like her to stop threatening to kill everyone in the tri-county area. But whatever you do, don't TELL her it's Midol, or she'll burn you alive at the stake.

    Thursday, May 15, 2008

    Do NOT Call My House Today

    Unless you want to get bitched at. Trust me.

    I am bitch today. That is not a typo. Bitch personified. Just ask my kids.

    Nice fucking hormones. I am sick to death of having my period again, I did not miss it for two years - not one little fucking bit. My period can eat a dick. Seriously.

    And if these kids don't quit fighting today, I swear to god...whoooooo...some sentences are best left unfinished. Suffice it to say that they are not in much better of a mood than I am. Samantha and I promised each other last night that we would both try to have a good day. Neither of us is doing so hot. I have already threatened to cancel her hair cut appointment with Jocelyn today.

    Time for Jackson's nap. Then I need to go stand outside in the sunshine for a few minutes. Some Vitamin D couldn't hurt. And maybe a vodka and water couldn't either.

    OK, that's a lie. I never drink during the day - hell, I barely drink period. But days like today make me wonder why I don't.

    No worries, this too, shall pass. I'm just feeling grumpy and pouty and feeling sorry for myself about some stuff that's not going how it's supposed to, and my hormones are seriously out of whack. Consider me better after having gotten this off my chest. Samantha and I just had a hug and a nice moment, and Jackson is upstairs getting in his chair for his pre-nap snack. So all is well.

    But you still might not want to call, I could go off at any second. If my Dad calls, he might be the perfect target for my agression - if I can get a word in edgewise.

    OK, enough rambling already. Off to fix snacks.

    Warning...Profanity Today

    I'm sure there is going to be some swearing today on FMFO...a lot, quite possibly, so if that offends, well - see you tomorrow, alright? Mwah.

    Wednesday, May 14, 2008

    I Might Fill The Van AAAAALLLL The Way Up This Week

    When the IRS says May 14th, they mean May 14th, I'll give 'em that! Note the time of posting, folks!

    Ahhh, one more thing to cross off my list of "Things To Obssess Over The Third Week Of May". (Oh, and I also got to cross off "wait around for my stupid unpredictable period", too, but that's another story...)

    But MSN can STILL kiss my butt.

    Monday, May 12, 2008

    Lilacs and Morels

    Two of my favorite things in the world. Funny pair, those two things. But each very meaningful to me.

    We grew up in the country. Not on a farm. Let me say that again. I did NOT - repeat, NOT - live on a farm. We had no barns, we had no cows, we grew no corn other than what was in our garden. We lived BY cornfields, and the farmer down the road kept his cows pastured across the gravel road from our house, but we, ourselves, did NOT live on a farm. Seriously. There's a difference. But I digress...

    Growing up, lilacs were plentiful on the land north of ours. Lovingly referred to as "Up North", it was (and is) owned by my grandmother, and we picked our fill of lilac blooms every spring, and the house smelled divine until the last one had wilted. That smell, to this day, reminds me of home, of childhood fond memories, and makes me smile. Today I picked lilacs from my own lilac tree, in the corner of my yard here in the city - far away from the country, and yet taken there in a moment with eyes closed, as I inhale and enjoy what truly smells like "spring at home" to me.


    Speaking of home, we were blessed with a trip out to the old place yesterday, stopping by to wish Dad a happy 60th birthday and share some cake (of which I had none, by the way, thankyouverymuch). We visited with Dad a while. And then, taking her small hand in mine, my sweet Samantha and I walked together, for the first time, on the very ground where I once walked. With Daddy and Jackson following, each of us fascinated and enraptured by different aspects of the woods before us, we climbed and hiked, over and under, around and through. I was not much older than she is now when I started out on my own journeys in these very woods.
    To take her there and see her love them as I love them touched my heart in a deep and profound way.

    And as has always been the way by Mother's Day in the country, the hunt was on. The morels were out there, and waiting for us. Veteran sponge mushroom hunters such as myself can almost smell them. You just have to see one, and then they start to pop out at you, once you find your spot.

    We needed a few more days of about 10 more degrees, even though it's been wet enough. Even so, we found them - just a dozen or so, spread out through the wood in no particular pattern or following of rule, and there was certainly more hiking than picking. But we found enough to feel successful. Samantha beamed as she spotted the very first one, and shrieked "MOMMY! I see one!!!" And so she did. She is my daughter, after all*. Daddy is quite the mushroom spotter himself...for a city boy.

    And so tonight we dined on what many consider a delicacy, breaded in a secret family recipe breading (substituting whole wheat flour, obviously) - the morel, the sponge mushroom. And they were good. Really, really good. In fact, we didn't eat much else for supper.


    *Yes, I fancy myself a fairly advanced and skilled sponge mushroom hunter. You know what the grocery stores pay for these things? OK, fine, it's not rocket science, but it still requires some degree of knowledge, much patience, a sharp eye, and a sharp paring knife. Not everyone even remembers to bring one - my cousins were up there too, and they had to borrow one. Cuz I had two. I'm an expert like that. Shut up. Just let it go, alright?

    We'll See If Calculators Lie

    ...IRS calculators, that is. Theirs says that our stimulus check should be coming soon. We shall see.

    Monday, May 5, 2008

    Sunday, May 4, 2008

    Sweet, Sweet Sunday

    At the risk of copying my dear friend Deb, who had her own "awww" moment with The Ambassador tonight, I have to tell you about Samantha, who made my heart smile at bedtime, too.

    As I am tucking her in, talking about our day, which is part of our bedtime routine...

    S:'re so beautiful!

    M: Awwww, well thank you sweetie! So are you!

    S: Even when you don't have ANY makeup on, you're STILL SO beautiful!

    M: (choking up) Aww, baby, you're the sweetest girl ever, Momma loves you.

    S: You're the bestest mom ever. No one could ever be the bestest mom than you. When I grow up I'm gonna be the bestest mom just like you are. And I AM the bestest mom to my babies right now, and you're the bestest mom to me.

    I'm pretty sure that right then, she could have dumped ink on the carpet, said "ass" four times in a row, and brought a sucker to bed with her and I wouldn't have even blinked.

    So DEFINITELY a great end to my last day of being 34. The rest of the day was pretty OK too! I put on TWO different pairs of pants (one was actually shorts ) today, and they were both 12s...and they both fit. I am still wearing the shorts now. I even left the house in them. Me. Outside. In shorts. Shut the fuck up. I am not even kidding. No, seriously. I haven't worn EITHER pair of pants, if I recall correctly, since BEFORE we were married.

    Top that with the fact that I not only got ALL the laundry sorted and underway today (not done, but underway, which is in itself an accomplishment), but also got outside and finished barking the flower bed in back, finished the kids' play area (after Greg moved the WHOLE SWINGSET over there by, I am not kidding) and hopefully stopped the dogs from digging, and I feel pretty damn good about today!

    As long as I don't look in my kitchen at the mess I have to clean up before bedtime. Eccccchhhhhh. Oh, well, can't have everything, can we?

    Friday, May 2, 2008

    Yeah, We're PAST Close of Business for the Day

    ...and no money. MSN can DEFINITELY kiss my butt.

    MSN - Full of It?

    I think so.

    They said they had a revised schedule for our fabulous rebate checks, which stated that ALLLLL direct deposit payments would be issued BY Friday May 2. It is now Friday, May 2, and I have no shiny pretty rebate money in my online bank account. Nor do my friends with MUCH lower SSNs than mine. I am perplexed. Bemused. Underwhelmed. Pondering the possibilities, and coming up with only one: MSN didn't know what the frickin'-frack they were talking about. To support my theory, I checked the IRS website. THEY still show that I won't have my DD funds until as late as May 16. Well, hey, that's only TWO WEEKS difference, that's not much, right?

    MSN, bad form. Your statement was presented to be factual; not stated as conjecture, not a guess, or wishful thinking. You listed a revised schedule which you stated to be the newest information from the government regarding the delivery of monies which will bring much fun and happy la-la time to me and my family in the weeks to come.

    So why? Why the confusion, the lack of accuracy, dear readers? Seems to me they, perhaps, cut and pasted from someplace else, but didn't get all the info, or at least didn't C&P it all, and just made a good story instead. Seems to me they should maybe have waited to see if the IRS was going to update THEIR info online before they went around posting shit. Seems to me they were talking out their asses and filling people's heads full of bullshit. (Seems to me there's a lot of that goin' round these days...)

    MSN, you are creeping quickly over to my bad side. And no one wants to be there, do they. No, no they don't. So, now - someone at MSN needs to call someone at the IRS and let them know that the folks over at Cathy's Blog want our money, and we want it today!

    Disclaimer: I reserve the right to retract this statement if the money actually shows up today in our bank account. Until then, I'm leaning towards the "MSN can kiss my butt" mentality. Thank you.

    Thursday, May 1, 2008


    Much better. Thanks for your patience. The brown is gone, spring has sprung, all is well.

    Template So Turdy

    Yeah, the brown's just not doing it for me. It's gonna have to go. It's spring for fuck's sake - what was I thinking? Stay tuned for more appropriate color themes to come...