As We GO Into Halloweek

Some updates from FMFO.

Item 1: Greg bought a used laptop off of CL. It has no battery so it has to be plugged in to use it. Which makes it more of a portable PC than a laptop. It also has about 2 megabytes of memory and almost that much RAM. That is only a slight minimization of the truth. And top that with the fact that when he updated the OS tonight he found out that the prick who sold it to him put on a pirated copy of said OS, and I'd say Greg got hosed on CL. We may issue a commemorative coin, it's our first truly rotten experience on CL that I can remember. Asshat. (The CL guy, not Greg.)

Item 2: Greg is not allowed to buy any more electronic crap for the rest of the year. It's not his first purchase of unneeded items this month, but I have shared with him that it should probably be his last. So sayeth she who pays the bills.

Item 3: Samantha is joining Girl Scouts, they start out as "Daisies". We attended the Halloween party tonight, big fun. She was a hit in her Cinderella costume, people loved her hair and some even thought it was a wig! So proud of my pretty girl, and that she is so well-adjusted in groups and feels confident and well-liked going into new situations. She'll do well in Scouts, and I'm glad she chose something that enriches her as a young lady who can go on to do anything.

Item 4: Girl Scouts eat too much crap at Halloween parties.

Item 5: This year is probably my favorite Halloween costumes for the kids in all their years. They are fracking adorable, and I love that they wanted to be Cinderella and the Prince, and that he loves to be "the prince of missy".

Item 6: Maybe it's just the wine talking, but Arbor Mist "Island Fruits Pinot Grigio" is, quite possibly, the best I've ever had. No joke. I'm a cheap wine kinda girl - I like my wine fruity, and with no hint of dryness, with no year on the bottle, and at $3.99 a bottle.

Item 7: There's a reason I never drink wine during the week. The dishes don't get done, and neither does the laundry, and I can't seem to find the ambition to care about what she's wearing to school tomorrow. There are clean clothes up there, that's what's important, right?

Item 8: It may not, in fact, be the wine, since this is the first night I can EVER remember drinking on a weeknight, and there are still nights when none of that other shit gets done anyway. Hmm. But for now, I'm blaming it on the wine.

Item 9: Halloween isn't even here yet, and we already have more "treats" than any family needs. Insanity.

Item 10: I have to sleep now. I should watch Biggest Loser from last week, still haven't watched it (and it wasn't on instant play on NBC when I tried), and the new one is on tonight. But I won't, most likely. Time to sleeeeeeep.

Good night all.

UPDATE from Item 7: The OTHER reason I do not drink during the week (or on the weekends, either, generally) is because I tend to ignore my alarms the next morning and make the whole household get up late. Whoops.

Old Words That Still Mean So Much

When I attended Emporia State University in 1992, I found this. It moved me profoundly, and sent me into a period of self-examination that was unparalleled to that point in my life.

As I approach another point in my life where I need to examine myself in a real, true, and maybe painful way, I have had these words ringing in my head. I am sharing them with you because they, as my friend Cory used to say "...changed my life". Hope they are meaningful for you. I have more, the next one is one I wrote. That's to come. Don't miss it.


Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes.
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it,
than to accept life unquestioningly.
Everything we shut our eyes to,
everything we run away from,
everything we deny, denigrate or despise,
serves to defeat us in the end.
What seems nasty, painful, evil,
can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength
if faced with an open mind.
Every moment is a golden one
for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

- Henry Miller

Overhaul

That's what I need. Physically, spiritually, mentally, organizationally (is that a word?), all of it. I'm due for a change, and I need to start outlining exactly what I want. I know how to do that, I think. It's just a matter of doing it.

The road is long, and the journey arduous, I already know that. I don't anticipate overnight change, and I don't expect perfection in the steps I want to take. What I do expect is what I expect from my kids when they undertake something - I expect 100% effort.

Lifelong change will take a lifetime. I get that. But I have to start somewhere and someplace. And it's time. Who I am, where I have been, and what I have done do NOT have to define the rest of my life. Change is choice. It's a hard truth to learn and live, but it's true.

Change really is rooted 100% in choice.

Stay tuned for the tearing down and rebuilding of, well...me.