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    Saturday, September 20, 2008

    Somebody Has to Know ~ OR ~ Can I Lysol the Chapstick?

    How long can sicky germs live on Chapstick?

    Like, if, say a 4-year old has a "bug", complete with fever, aches, scratchy 'froat', and she uses Random Chapstick #3 in the bathroom drawer, puts the lid back on and goes back to bed...

    How long do the germs, that you KNOW she smooshed all over the Chapstick, live? Hmm? A day? A week? Can the Chapstick sustain the germs? Any idea? Is it like the Trojan Horse of viral crap? And along those lines, how am I EVER supposed to get this house clean and free of this "bug" if there is random, pell-mell Chapstick-applying going on and I am not there to somehow, someway, disinfect said Chapstick which has inevitably been goobed on? Hmm? I ask you. Say I Lysol til my head falls off. Get us all "well" again, right? Then one Wednesday, a month or so from now, I'm feeling a bit chapped; I go in the bathroom, roll open the drawer and reach for, say Random Chapstick #3...and as soon as air hits Little Mr Sicky Germ sitting and waiting for me under the Chapstick cap...BLAM! The sicky cycle begins again. Fanfuckingtastic.

    So does it work like that? Because if they die as soon as they hit air, then why do I need to disinfect? See? See where I'm at with this? They clearly can survive on surfaces like doorknobs, lightswitches, etc., so why not Chapstick? And if protected in the hard white bastion-of-Chapstick-lid-peace, why wouldn't it survive even LONGER? Anyone? Anyone?

    See, THIS is why moms need sleep. Too little of the stuff, and we sit up nights thinking of this shit. I'm trying not to think about the window licking that Miss Sicky was doing earlier this week while she was surely already contagious. Aaaand, now I'm going to get the Lysol to wash the kitchen window with it. That oughta smear up nicely.


    Missives From Suburbia said...

    You are reminding me of a SNL skit from many years ago, in which someone is standing at a bus stop, using their Chapstick and random people keep coming up to ask if they can use it. The people just keep getting worse, and the final two include someone with sores all over their face and an alien from outer space.

    I'd buy new Chapstick.

    I hope everyone feels better soon and you avoid the plague.

    herself75 said...

    Chapstick is cheap... toss it and buy some hand sanitizer while you are out getting a new one.

    Kae said...

    Hmmmm Sounds sketchy. Just to be safe, I'd torch your house and start over somewhere else (like Oregon...once you're all healthy of course. I love ya - but I don't want your virus crap here)!

    Oh yea, and buy new chapstick.

    mary n said...

    reminds me of the old cat and chapstick joke.

    mary n said...

    oh yeah. buy new chapstick. the multi-pack kind.

    Matthew Cave said...

    yep, everyone is right. suck it up and buy new chapstick...but you are going to get sick anyway. you know that, right?