...if you could see me now.
Sitting here, at my desk, late at night, frowning. Grimacing, even. If you could see the look on my face, the irritation level I am at right now, you would know.
Know what, you ask? What could we know just from seeing you sitting there stewing at your desk at midnight on a Wednesday morning?
You would know that you have whizzed right on by Norton, and zoomed quickly into 1st Place in "The Race to be the Company Most Likely to Piss Me Off in 2009". Congrats, folks. Banner day over there for you. Issue a coin, go ahead. Bring in cake. Laugh it up a while.
Except guess what? It's not funny. I am SO not laughing.
But why, you ask? You seem to be making light of whatever your particular issue is. Why are you not laughing? We certainly are, at your witty use of descriptive words and your snappy way with a phrase.
Let me help you out. Here's why it's not funny. Your support staff - well, specifically the one who returned my email - SUCKS. She needs to go clean floors or something, instead of answering emails from grown-ups about real tax stuff. Frankly, your site in general gives me a headache and is about as clear as mud, with your forms pages that have no links to any forms, and your status pages that don't reflect current statuses, even after you send an email giving a particular status. You are supposed to make this easier, and up until now, it seems to have always been for us. But this year - this year you have reached for new heights of giving me heartburn and a throbbing temple.
SO here's a tip or two. When I send you a detailed request for assistance, do NOT send me a generic "here is the link to our support site" response and give no other answer. It's a bad idea. It's bad business. Frankly, it's about like pissing on my email and sending it back to me still wet.
And if all you're going to send me is a link, make damned sure that the link can solve my problems!
You get one more chance. I sent you another email, you folks over there at Turbo "Pain in my Ass" Tax, asking that my issue be escalated to a supervisor. I really, really hope that it will be escalated, quickly. And I hope whoever contacts me has some simple, concrete, apologetic, bullshit-free answers.
And I want a refund for what you charged me to e-file my state. This is ridiculous. In the time I've spent messing with you people, I could have filled the return out with a pen, stopped at Kinko's to make copies, and WALKED the fracking forms to Lincoln myself.
Get with it.