Barbaric

No question. Large metal hooks coming at your mouth to, in the most simplistic, scary, painful fashion, "clean" your teeth, are part of a dental procedure that IS 'barbaric', at best. Surely with all of the world's seemingly endless technology and resources we have in this day and age, SOMEONE can come up with a better way? No?

No. And do you want to know why? Because the dental hygienist is making $4.50 a MINUTE doing this fun Little-Shop-of-Horrors-inspired job, that's why. Surely she makes enough to pay off researchers and make it worth their while to NOT find a painless, trauma-free method for removing tartar from the human tooth. You know, they give dogs general anesthesia to do this kind of work*. I wish I was a dog.

But, I have survived my first (of many to come**) day at the dentist. Teeth clean, gums, uh, invigorated, and attitude re-vamped to take consistently better care of my teeth, and to go see Miss Dental Torture Chick MUCH more often.


*Yes, I know it's mostly for the hygienist's benefit, not the dog's, that they put them under for teeth cleanings - and why? Because, dear reader, a dog would CHEW YOUR FACE OFF if you tried to do to them what that chick did to me today. Hell, I almost bit the bitch myself.


**How many more? How ever many more visits it takes to do three crowns, redo one that my last dentist fucked up, and fill four cavities. Plus a follow-up with the hygienist and another cleaning in six months. That's how many more.