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    Tuesday, June 24, 2008


    No question. Large metal hooks coming at your mouth to, in the most simplistic, scary, painful fashion, "clean" your teeth, are part of a dental procedure that IS 'barbaric', at best. Surely with all of the world's seemingly endless technology and resources we have in this day and age, SOMEONE can come up with a better way? No?

    No. And do you want to know why? Because the dental hygienist is making $4.50 a MINUTE doing this fun Little-Shop-of-Horrors-inspired job, that's why. Surely she makes enough to pay off researchers and make it worth their while to NOT find a painless, trauma-free method for removing tartar from the human tooth. You know, they give dogs general anesthesia to do this kind of work*. I wish I was a dog.

    But, I have survived my first (of many to come**) day at the dentist. Teeth clean, gums, uh, invigorated, and attitude re-vamped to take consistently better care of my teeth, and to go see Miss Dental Torture Chick MUCH more often.

    *Yes, I know it's mostly for the hygienist's benefit, not the dog's, that they put them under for teeth cleanings - and why? Because, dear reader, a dog would CHEW YOUR FACE OFF if you tried to do to them what that chick did to me today. Hell, I almost bit the bitch myself.

    **How many more? How ever many more visits it takes to do three crowns, redo one that my last dentist fucked up, and fill four cavities. Plus a follow-up with the hygienist and another cleaning in six months. That's how many more.


    Missives said...

    Shoulda kicked her in the box.

    Is it weird that I'm now humming, "I've got a new attitude"?

    McBung said...

    So did they actually chew your ass? Because I know that you specifically asked for the dentist that would chew your ass the least when you made the appointment.

    Oh, and not that I like to neener neener anyone, but if you go regularly, it really doesn't hurt. (Sparkle, sparkle as I shoot off a smile with my never-had-a-cavity teeth)

    Please don't hit me!!!LOL

    Cathy said...

    Speaking of people I should kick in the box....ROTFL....

    NO, they were very kind and sympathetic, actually...

    Kae said...

    **Shudder** I don't even like the word dentist. Not just because it hurts my mouth like hell to go - but because it usually hurts my wallet like hell too!

    Glad you survived your first of many visits. Lucky you!