Do You Go In The "Family" Bathroom By Yourself?

Do you? Guilty? Don't like pooing in the "regular" bathroom for your specific gender? Feel like you need some space, some privacy? Wanna relax and take some time while you drop some friends off at the pool?

Tough shit. That's right, you heard me. I did not stutter. You need to knock it off. I am SO not kidding. Listen up. It's called a "FAMILY" bathroom so people who need to go in a restroom together, but who cannot enter a public bathroom together, have some place to go.

Say, for instance, a four year-old girl has to poop (we'll call her "Daughter"*). And suppose Daddy takes her, knowing that the store has a FAMILY restroom, and since the store is fairly slow, there's a decent chance it'll be empty, or at least empty soon.

A note: Daddy will occasionally take Daughter into the men's room under ideal circumstances if absolutely necessary, but in this case, Daddy has already been IN the men's room and has seen that conditions are NOT suitable for Daughter to sit on ANY of the toilets in that facility. Without committing what we are fairly certain is at least a misdemeanor by going into the women's restroom, Daddy has only one suitable choice: wait for the family restroom.

They wait patiently, understanding that sometimes "family" issues take a minute or two. But time passes, they wait longer and longer, and the bathroom remains occupied. Daddy calls Mommy to come and take Daughter into the women's room, concerned that time is running out. Mommy comes.

As it turns out, Daughter had an URGENT bathroom issue, with a VERY loose stool, and couldn't hold it any longer. Now Daughter - a good, smart, well-potty-trained girl - has had an accident in a store. And despite Mom and Dad's best efforts to calm any concerns, Daughter is now humiliated, embarassed, sad and stressed out. Certainly SHE got no privacy, SHE had no time to use the toilet at her leisure, and SHE did her best to do what she knew was right.

It's too bad the woman who sat in the bathroom taking a dump for 25 minutes can't say the same. She meandered out while Mom was in the bathroom cleaning up Daughter (thank goodness she's still light enough to lay on a changing table), and looked at Dad (who was still standing outside the restroom area) with a snide look that said "What? I can be in there if I want to!"

I am now speaking specifically to said woman leaving the FAMILY restroom: No, actually, you stupid bitch, you can't. It's called a FAMILY bathroom. Not an "I'm-too-good-to-use-a-restroom-with-stalls-in-it-so-I'll-fuck-up-other-people's-day" bathroom. Don't like shitting in a public restroom? Go home. Or better yet - stay home. Not feeling well? You can lock yourself in a stall just as easily as use the ONLY restroom available for a parent with a different gendered child. I would bet money that you don't like shitting in a public restroom any LESS than my kid liked riding home in dirty jeans. But that's not YOUR problem, is it?

People like you have no courtesy, no consideration, and make life difficult for others and don't even care. You had NO business being in that restroom, and you are LUCKY that Daddy was standing there, and not Mommy, when you sauntered your stupid ass out of there, or you'd have needed to go right back in to remove Mommy's foot from your ASS, you stupid bitch.

I hope you shit your pants in church wearing white...while you're sitting in the front row.


*I didn't use her name in this, even though many of you know her name. It just seemed awful to have to even put her name in any association with this. We felt so awful for her, and she was so devastated, that I just don't even want her name used in reference to it. She didn't deserve what happened, and it could have happened to anyone. But it didn't - it happened to my sweet girl, who looked me in the face with tears in her eyes as I cleaned her up, and with shame on her face said "Mommy, does this mean I have to start wearing diapers like a baby again?" Tell me now how that is better than someone having to suck it up and use a public restroom like the rest of us?