And Now For Something Completely Different

Digging around in my Analytics while I should be sleeping. Found some VERY interesting actual keywords used to find my blog by you kooky, yet faithful readers in the last two years or so. My favorites are as follows:

daughter in the mens bathroom at church pooping Uh, what?
how to get my wife to love me again kathy and bill This is weird because I dated a guy named Bill who later married a girl named Kathy, but not before he asked me to schtoop him one last time...gag. Ironically I would bet money that said Kathy by now does NOT love said Bill.
"fuck me in the butt and call me sally" OK most of the time I can see how the key words, at least some of them, got a person here. This is not one of those times.
are midol and mushrooms ok to take together Clearly she has bigger problems than PMS.
could you die from licking lysol Uh, I'm pretty sure you could, dumbass.
rash back arms itchy man -pregnant -female OK, none of those words even go together. What could they have been looking for, really?
tricking my sister into kissing my butt I have never done a blog on getting anyone to kiss anyone's butt. I don't think.
will i ever get to see cathy again? Why, yes - yes you will. Unless you have never seen me in the first place and don't know where I live. Then, maybe not, you know.

Also interesting to me are how many times people have searched for "cathy and greg" and "cathy's blog", and how many hits I got from "von maur shooting" and "velveeta" searches. The "we deserve it dividend" probably had the most, in its varied forms, but we are not discussing that today. Shut up, I didn't write the dumb thing, I just posted it; and I retracted it as soon as I did the math. And I said we're not talking about it.

I seriously need to go to bed. But you few random weird fuckers out there searching for some crazy stuff, who find me instead, you are welcome to root around and read whatever your nutzy little heart desires here at FMFO. My blog door is open, come on in.