Oh, I am clever with the cute little alliterations with the days of the week, huh?
Anyway, since I missed my last chance to do a Monday Memorandum for 2008, this is what we've got. (I guess I could do one and back date it, but I'm all about keeping it real around here. Mostly.)
She's still dead. I still miss her. Her baby would have been about 1/2 baked by now. She would be getting uncomfortable and we would talking about names and nursery themes and swollen feet. My heart still aches for her, and the loss we have suffered is still breath-taking and overwhelming. The thought of this being the last year she will have been part of my life makes for ONE tiny reason I'll be sad to see 2008 go. I know she'll always be with me, and I know she's watching, but that's not enough. We should have had a lifetime to watch each other's kids grow up, to grow old together, to laugh at how foolish we were as youngsters, and to value decades spent loving one another in the special way that we did. That will always feel a cheap shot from the powers that be. So as I've said so many times since September 2 - hug your loved ones. Kiss your family and friends. SAY I love you, even if it feels weird. You won't be sorry if you do, but you might be sorry if you don't.
Gosh, suddenly I don't feel like writing anymore. A good cry sounds great, though, I may go for that.